Christmas gift Ideas for Evil Overlords.

Spread the love

Somewhere in most mens DNA lies the desire for conquest. Given the chance a lot of people ( even the nice ones)would gladly become an “ Evil Overlord” at least for a little while. Those who aspire to such can get plenty of advice on what to do and not do. A 1988 Saturday Night Live skit about Bond Villains featured a book called “What Not To Do When You Capture James Bond”. That skit inspired A group on the ancient realm known as Fidonet Science Fiction and Fandom email “Star Trek” echo to create a list of Evil Overlord tropes . That over time evolved into “ The Evil overlord List “ by Peter Anspach. That list gives plenty of great advice for aspiring evil overlords such as .

  • My ventilation ducts will be too small to crawl through.
  • My noble half-brother whose throne I usurped will be killed, not kept anonymously imprisoned in a forgotten cell of my dungeon.
  • Shooting is not too good for my enemies.
  • The artifact which is the source of my power will not be kept on the Mountain of Despair beyond the River of Fire guarded by the Dragons of Eternity. It will be in my safe-deposit box. The same applies to the object which is my one weakness.
  • I will not gloat over my enemies’ predicament before killing them.
  • When I’ve captured my adversary and he says, “Look, before you kill me, will you at least tell me what this is all about?” I’ll say, “No.” and shoot him. No, on second thought I’ll shoot him then say “No.”
  • After I kidnap the beautiful princess, we will be married immediately in a quiet civil ceremony, not a lavish spectacle in three weeks’ time during which the final phase of my plan will be carried out.
  • I will not include a self-destruct mechanism unless absolutely necessary. If it is necessary, it will not be a large red button labeled “Danger: Do Not Push”. The big red button marked “Do Not Push” will instead trigger a spray of bullets on anyone stupid enough to disregard it. Similarly, the ON/OFF switch will not clearly be labeled as such.
  • I will not interrogate my enemies in the inner sanctum — a small hotel well outside my borders will work just as well.

As you can see advice for evil overlords is readily available. What IS not so readily available is a gift guide for the loved ones of evil overlords. Chances are that the Evil overlord in your life does not want a necktie and pair of socks for Christmas. They want something to gloriously showcase their personality. Choose from one of these gift ideas and you might melt their evil little hearts fast.

1. Thrones

Every Evil overlord needs a throne, Finding one that looks right in a lair is not easy. Our suggestion is to take into account the type of overlord you are buying for. Does he want shock value, comfort , or functionality.

This one is Hand-cast using crushed stone bonded with high quality resin over a wooden frame . Perfect for relaxing in while glaring menacingly at unwanted guests. buy it here.

evil looking throne

If your Evil overlord as less of a bonecrusher and more of a necromancer this throne is a great looking addition to the lair. Conjure one up HERE

A little overdone but it gets the point across well. This reaper throne will make a big impact in ” business meetings”. Get it here.

Subtle enough for someone who is only SUSPECTED of being an evil overlord, yet menacing enough to worry people. get it here

For the more modern or more practical Evil Overlord. This is perfect to sit in while building an evil online empire.

Tools

Things to make an evil overlords day easier are always appreciated, These tools will be a huge help and will be fun to show off to all their evil buddies.

x-18 flamethrower fun and legal

Why settle with words what you can settle with a flamethrower? Get yours here.

Genetic Engineering home lab kit. Need to develop some minions ? Start here

creepy magical grimoire

For the more mystical minded evil overlord the lesser key of Salomon has long been the starting point to occult power just remember Evil overlord rule 55. I will not strike a bargain with a demonic being then attempt to double-cross it simply because I feel like being contrary. if your overlord is foolish enough to deal with such magic

Vehicles

For those with a larger budget there are currently an abundance of vehicles available perfect for Evil Overlords.

INKAS Sentry – Armored Vehicle

This one sgould get you past hoards of zombies,angry villagers, and anything else you need to escape from in a hurry. Comes in several configurations Available here

Armortek “Spy Car”

Available bulletproof with oil slick generator, road tack release,tear gas ports,radio jamming system,strobe lights,portable road block systems and more. Hell you should buy two of these just cause they are so versatile. Get them here

SONY DSC

Personal Submarine

The Seabreacher X is a 240 hp personal sub with shark fins to help freak out swimmers. Perfect escape vehicle . Get yours here .

These should spark a few ideas for that hard to buy for sociopath on your Christmas list. What else do you think fits the bill? comment below.

Be the first to comment

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.


*